now I'm going to talk to a squirrel

Hey squirrel, how's it goin'? I like your fur, that looks really great. You tryin' to break into my apartment, squirrel? What's that about? Are you related to the squirrel that jumped out of a garbage can at me at the park? Good luck trying to get through the window screen and then through a pane of glass. I could do it, but I have scissors and hammer. So it was great to meet you. Say 'hi' to your mother for me.

to the tintinnabulation that so musically wells

I'm no philatelist, but I love the new Edgar Allan Poe stamp. Its sepia tone accented with the red USA 42 and dark blue... ascot? Is that right? What tie is that? It makes me want to write a letter.

kid + drugs = you know what

Kid gets teeth cut out of his head. Kid still drugged when Dad takes him home. Dad has video camera. Hilarity ensues. Found this over at BoingBoing, so this kid is going to be all over the internet soon enough. Lucky him.

I had some oral surgery when I was younger. I had a bunch of extra teeth in my skull that were going to cause problems. I know I had some of whatever this kid is on. I don't remember too much, other than my sister making fun of me when I got home because I had to stand over the sink anytime I wanted to drink water.